‘This serious play, which we call art, can’t be static. I mean, you have to keep learning how to play’
- Philip Guston
(or: a painter’s first duty is to be free)
Yesterday’s thread is still in (unfolding) business.
I haven’t been sleeping much… out of the rubble, new things can emerge. That whole dying to live thingy is rearing its head again, I guess easter-spring-time is doing its work.
My artist friend Jurriaan Wesselink (look him up!) sent me some quotes by the painter Philip Guston, I was intrigued, clicked the first video on youtube, it resonated.
‘it’s taken me years to come to the conclusion or to the belief that probably the only thing one can really learn is the capacity to be able to change’
I'm quite angry today. No fun. Something is breaking down. Something wants to get out of me. What? Why is this so difficult, bringing into form this whatever that wants out out OUT.
I watch mores Guston videos, something clicks, a thread in need of following. The narrator says: Guston reinvents himself. I'm thinking, does he mean re-invention or re-building, for I wrote about this yesterday. Re: rebuilding, was I talking about myself??
Minute 8:
Guston takes on a new surname. Something to hide behind? Is this re-invention, artificial renewal which has the opposite effect, getting further from himself…? I don’t know. Maybe, sometimes, distancing yourself from your self may at times be freeing, but I suspect that somewhere along the life-line, you will eventually have to bridge the gap to come home again. I don’t want to be a tree, but only me.
‘Whoever has learned to listen to a tree no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.’
Herman Hesse
I sure don’t want to be a tree, but be me me me me me me whatever that means, breaking something down, building something up, repeat, repeat, repeat repeat repeat that don’t sound neat neat neat, so let’s take this serious endeavor and play play play play play play play, don’t stay stay stay static, that would be problematic, for this serious play, which we call art, can’t be static so I have to keep learning how to play, keep learning how to play keep learning how to play
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